Side Effects

“Side Effects” is a song from the 2008 E=MC² album co-produced with Scott Storch and with a guest appearance by rapper Young Jeezy. “If somebody has the control over you, you're still going to be angry but it's about letting it go. It was therapeutic. The track just made me think of where I am now. It's my story,” Mariah said about the song's lyrics. “There is a line about living in a private hell. It is what it is and when I think about it, it stills gives me a weird feeling. I was emotionally cut off in a lot of ways and I still have trust issues. Certain things still really get to me, like people trying to make decisions for me. But I hope that song can heal people who have been in abusive relationships. It's not saying, ‘Pity me’ — it's my song for what I went through.”

Mariah Carey - Side Effects (In Her Own Words)
In Her Own Words

Available on

E=MC²
E=MC²

Lyrics

Side Effects

Young Jeezy:
It's MC and YJ, another hit
We lookin' fly takin' off, show us where the runway
On any given Sunday, Monday, Tuesday
They try to confuse me
I never let 'em use me

I was a girl you were “the man”
I was too young to understand
I was naive I just believed everything that you told me
Said you were strong, protecting me
Then I found out that you were weak
Keeping me there under your thumb
Cause you were scared that I'd become much
More than you could handle
Shining like a chandelier
That decorated every room inside the private
Hell we built and I dealt with it
Like a kid I wished I could fly away but instead I

Kept my tears inside cause I knew if I
Started I'd keep cryin' for the rest of my
Life with you I finally built up the strength
To walk away don't regret it
But I still live with the side effects

Wakin' up scared some nights
Still dreaming 'bout the violent times
Still a little protective 'bout the people that I let inside
Still a little defensive thinking
Folks be tryin' to run my life
Still a little depressed inside I fake a smile
And deal with the side effects

Side effects
Side effects
Side effects

Vacant inside, no one was there
Couldn't be real, had to keep quiet
Once in a while put up a fight it's just too much
Night after night
After a while I would just lie
You were dead wrong said you were right
Did what I could just to survive
Couldn't believe this was my life
Flickering like a candle
Doing my best to handle
Sleeping with the enemy aware that he was smothering
Every last part of me
So I broke away and finally found the strength to breathe

Kept my tears inside cause I knew if I
Started I'd keep cryin' for the rest of my
Life with you I finally built up the strength
To walk away don't regret it
But I still live with the side effects

Wakin' up scared some nights
Still dreaming 'bout the violent times
Still a little protective 'bout the people that I let inside
Still a little defensive thinking
Folks be tryin' to run my life
Still a little depressed inside I fake a smile
And deal with the side effects

Side effects
Side effects
Side effects

Young Jeezy:
Magnifico, or should I say magnificent?
Ain't nothing worth your happiness
And I ain't caring who you're with
Misery loves company, so we ain't tryin' to hang with y'all
Hurt you if you let 'em in, gotta keep your circle small
They keep tryin' to play 'pology, tell 'em I ain't bowlin' though
Think they want me outta here, tell 'em I ain't goin' though
Side effects be drowsiness, loneliness, how is this?
I think the call it hateration
What can you prescribe for this?

Forgive but I can't forget
Everyday I deal with this
I live with the side effects
But I ain' gon' let them get the best of me
Forgive but I can't forget
Everyday I deal with this
I live with the side effects
But I ain' gon' let them get the best of me

(Chorus repeat)


Written by M. Carey, S. Storch, C. Johnson, J. Jenkins.
Produced by Scott Storch and Mariah Carey.